Helloo everyone! It's been a while since I’ve written a blog. Lately, I’ve been into journaling, which honestly was never a habit of mine, but I’m starting to see how calming it can be. Today though? Let’s just say, not much has been going according to plan. I’ve got this huge to-do list, and guess what? I haven’t touched a single thing. I’ve just been lazing around, rolling on my bed, avoiding everything I’m supposed to do. Somehow, after dozing off this afternoon, I’m not even tired anymore, but I still can’t bring myself to be productive. So here I am, doing something totally unexpected – writing a blog that wasn’t even on my list.
My best friend, who also used to be my roommate last year, is currently in another state. But even though we’re miles apart, we’re still as close as ever. Today, she’s been going through her old pictures – and I happen to be in a lot of them. Seeing all that craziness, the silly, goofy things we used to do together in college, brought back so many memories. Here in my parallel universe was coincidentally cleaning out my camera roll, I started looking through some old pictures of my own. Next thing I knew, I was editing them, doing these childish edits that just made me laugh. And it got me thinking, you know?
Looking at those old candid shots made me realize how much we create these social images for ourselves as we grow older, especially with adulting. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I think it’s something we all deal with. I get it – when you’re completely candid, it can make you vulnerable to some harsh reactions from the world. I’m not complaining, just reflecting on how we all build these layers over time.
It’s been a year since I moved from Bangalore to Warangal, and I can tell you, I’ve changed a lot. I used to be super social, but now? Not so much. When I do socialize these days, I notice a different side of myself. I don’t know if I’d call it laid-back, refined, or maybe just hesitant to interact with others. And it’s not just in person – I’m much more conscious of the image I put out online too. Whenever I post a status or a story, I catch myself thinking, “How’s this going to be perceived?”
We all have that silly, carefree side inside of us. I’ve seen it in the people closest to me, the way we can just become kids again when we’re together, doing all sorts of ridiculous things. And yeah, it’s those moments that make you laugh years later. As childish as they are, they’re the memories that stick with you.
So, what exactly are we talking about here? Is this all about the social images we sculpt for ourselves? Am I endorsing this idea, or am I against the fact that we’re almost forced to create these images? Honestly, neither. I think there’s more to it than just taking one side.
If we dive into it psychologically, it makes sense why we end up building these social facades. I mean, it’s almost instinctive, like a defense mechanism. But it’s not always just about defense; sometimes, it’s about behaviors we’ve learned over time, especially from old stories or past experiences. These could be childhood memories, traumas (which, by the way, I’m still figuring out because that word has so many blurry definitions). Maybe we weren’t given enough attention growing up, and now we crave it. Or maybe we’ve been disrespected, and now we struggle with self-respect. Some people can’t even trust happiness because it feels too elusive, too fleeting.
Psychology isn’t an exact science, after all. It’s evolving all the time, and who knows? We might learn something totally new about how our brains work tomorrow. But for now, we know that our past experiences shape us, often without us even realizing it. The way we behave, the way we interact with others – it all comes from those old, ingrained patterns.
We often think these behaviors are just a natural part of who we are, but they’re rooted in our conditioning. A lot of evolutionary theorists link our emotional responses like fear, anger, anxiety, and jealousy to evolution. But when it comes to our social presence, I think it’s more about conditioning than evolution. That said, evolution does play a role, especially in our need to feel included. It’s hardwired into us as humans. If we felt excluded or disrespected as kids, it’s no surprise that those feelings stick with us as adults, influencing the way we behave now.
But the more I think about it, the messier it gets. Like, how confusing are these social images? Take the concept of being a “loyal worker” for a brand or company. Professionally, having a reputation for loyalty used to be essential for career growth, right? But now, it feels less critical. We’re starting to understand the importance of broadening our horizons, of shifting jobs. I came across a Harvard Business Review article that talks about how companies are more open to welcoming back employees after a job switch, which is becoming a current trend.
Let’s talk about Gen Z for a moment – my generation. I think this shift is especially interesting for us, since most of my blog readers are likely Gen Z or millennials. The way we approach work is already so different from Gen X or even millennials, and I can’t imagine how much more it will change with Gen Alpha, the “AI kids.” We’re not as keen on conservative working environments. For example, the whole idea of sitting in the office for long hours every day? That’s not appealing to many of us. We care more about productivity than how many hours we clock in.
I was reminded of this when I heard an interview with the BharatPe founder, Ashneer Grover. He said he doesn’t care if someone’s in the office for five minutes, as long as they deliver results. I see that mindset playing out more and more, and it resonates with me. Though, if you talk to millennials, you’ll find many of them value ritualistic discipline – they believe there’s a kind of productivity that comes from sticking to a structured routine. It’s a constant debate.
Society, in itself, is in a state of constant flux. There’s always a debate about what’s considered the right social behavior. If you talk to millennials, for instance, going to the office in shorts is just not acceptable for them. For them, work from home doesn’t work, and being undisciplined is out of the question. On the other hand, Gen Z has a completely different perspective. And sure, there’s always going to be generational differences. I already notice the stark difference in opinions between myself and people from older generations or younger generations too.
As society evolves, so do the things we value. For example, weddings used to be this big show-off affair, but now there’s been a huge shift toward intimate, private weddings – largely thanks to the COVID outbreak, which gave the trend a major push.
And here’s the thing: when you feel out of place, it’s not always you. It’s the environment. Humans have this innate need to feel included, and while that’s true, we also live in a hyper-connected world. You can find your tribe anywhere, whether through social media or otherwise. But even when you do find your group, that doesn’t mean you’re free from the social image game.
In this constant state of flux, our social behaviors are influenced by so many factors: our past, our upbringing, and even the places we live. You might feel like an introvert in one setting and completely open up in another. And it’s not just the past or present – our future goals and ideals also shape how we present ourselves socially.
With so many layers influencing our social image, I think a few examples would be relatable. For instance, Taylor Swift, in one of her Grammy speeches, talked about how all those “stupid, dumb ideas” led her to where she is now. She reminded us not to discard that side of ourselves. Then there’s Shah Rukh Khan, the king of Bollywood, who’s been a master of personal branding long before it became a trend on social media. His charming image has worked wonders for him, and he’s maintained it for years.
Even Ranbir Kapoor, in a podcast interview with Nikhil Kamath (the founder of Zerodha), mentioned how people perceive him as this charming figure. He never really understood why, but it definitely worked in his favor. A big part of that charm comes from his elusiveness. In the age of constant availability, maintaining a bit of mystery can add to the allure of your social image. Robert Greene talks about this in The 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction – how elusiveness creates a perfect image in people’s minds.
To counter the concept of maintaining a fixed social image, I’d like to point out a couple of interviews that struck me. One was given by Asha Bhonsle, where she talked about the image Lata Mangeshkar maintained throughout her career. Lataji was once offered a massive sum to sing at a wedding, but she turned it down because, to her, singing at weddings didn’t align with the elite status she had cultivated. Asha Bhonsle mentioned how Lataji kept her brand image intact all her life.
There was also an interview where someone asked Lata Mangeshkar if she would want to be born as herself in her next life. Surprisingly, she said no. When the interviewer asked why, Lataji explained that the kind of challenges and difficulties she faced as Lata Mangeshkar were known only to her, and no one else could fully understand them. Despite achieving what society might define as "greatness" in her field, the weight of maintaining that image, the struggles that came with it, and the personal sacrifices weren’t things she would want to experience again.
This makes me wonder – what if Shah Rukh Khan, or any other public figure for that matter, came forward and revealed the hidden pressures, struggles, and personal challenges behind the charming image they present to the world? I believe it would definitely affect the way we perceive them. The perfectly crafted image that we hold onto so dearly would start to show its cracks. And that’s true for all of us, not just celebrities. The moment we become transparent about our personal struggles, our image in society might change – because, let’s face it, we tend to equate perfection with admiration.
So, what am I really trying to say with this blog? Well, like life itself, there’s no clear conclusion. Life is filled with gray areas, and so is this discussion. Can we really decide whether maintaining a certain social image is right or wrong? Should we even try to define it? Personally, I’ve been on both sides. I’ve curated my own social image, and I constantly find myself evolving as I consider how I want to be perceived. Whether it’s how I want to be treated or how I handle situations, my childhood experiences, interests, and even unresolved traumas play a part in how I show up in the world.
In the end, we can’t come to a solid conclusion on whether we should or shouldn’t maintain a social image. The only takeaway here is to reflect on the mental and emotional load it carries. Social images, whether we like them or not, can be useful – both professionally and personally. They might act as defense mechanisms, shielding us from hurt or rejection. But as Brené Brown says in Daring Greatly (an incredible book, by the way), when we filter out parts of ourselves to maintain these social images, we lose out on some of the richness of life’s experiences. We stop ourselves from fully feeling, from being vulnerable, and from letting life touch us deeply.
So, in wrapping this up, let’s approach our social presence from a mental health perspective. If the pressure of maintaining a social image becomes too much, it starts to make our experiences feel shallow. That’s when we need to pause and reconsider. Would I want to remove social images from my life entirely? Probably not. It’s impossible, especially in today’s social media-driven world. We’re influenced by countless factors, often without even realizing it – and that’s okay. The key is not to take too much pressure from it.
If anything, I’d say let’s aim to be more influenced by our future ideals than by our past hurts. If my social image is influenced by who I want to become, rather than by the pain or trauma I’ve experienced, then that’s more empowering. At least it would be a role I’m consciously playing, shaped by the future me I aspire to be.
And one last thing: Social narratives are natural. Just because you try to portray yourself as charming, soft, or even rebellious doesn’t mean that’s all you are. We all have different sides to us – we can be emotional, witty, rude, or kind. Our social image is just a part of the complex puzzle that makes us who we are. The image people have of us varies from person to person, and it’s impossible to control how everyone perceives you.
Being obsessed with crafting the perfect image for every single person is exhausting and impossible. Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try. So, taking less pressure and focusing on being authentic will go a long way. And if you still want to create an image, make sure it’s one that serves you, not the other way around.
That’s it for now. If there’s anything else, well, I’ll leave it to the next blog!
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