Hey folks! So, let’s dive into a topic that’s been buzzing around my brain lately – adoption. Now, I know I’m only 23, and some might think I’m too young to have a solid opinion on this, but hear me out. Many of our parents had us by this age, so I guess I’m not that far off from having a valid take on kids and adoption, right?
The Maternal/Paternal Instinct
Ever noticed how people say you develop maternal or paternal qualities as you age? It’s like a switch flips, and suddenly you’re all protective and nurturing. I was listening to Robert Greene’s podcast yesterday – you know, the guy who wrote “The Art of Seduction” and “48 Laws of Power.” He talked about how, as we grow older, we get more defensive. This defensiveness is a shield we put up to protect ourselves, having lost some of the naivety and innocence of youth. And here’s the interesting part: it’s this very defensiveness that might spark our maternal or paternal instincts. We see someone innocent and naive, and our protective nature kicks in because we want to safeguard that purity which we ourselves might have lost.
It’s like, when you become so shielded and defensive, there’s a natural urge to protect the innocence in others. That’s one way to look at maternal or paternal instincts. It’s less about genes and more about an emotional response to our own experiences and the world around us.
Blood Isn’t Always Thicker Than Water
We’re not in the age of kings and dynasties anymore. The whole “bloodline” concept feels outdated. You don’t need to be a descendant of Einstein to contribute something amazing to the world. Look at how many people from the most humble beginnings are ruling the roost today. It’s about talent, drive, and opportunity, not your bloodline.
The World’s a Mess: Do We Need More Kids?
Let’s face it, the world is kind of a mess right now. Environmental issues, overpopulation, political conflicts – the list goes on. With all these dystopian scenarios floating around in movies and books, sometimes it feels like bringing a new life into this world is a daunting prospect. Do we really need more kids adding to the complexity of our already tangled society?
The Insecurity of Modern Life
Our society is incredibly complex and interconnected. From our food sources to our tech gadgets, everything is a web of dependencies. This complexity brings a constant undercurrent of insecurity. We worry about data breaches, financial security, and even our safety in a world with nuclear weapons and advanced AI. It’s no wonder people feel hesitant about bringing more kids into this chaotic mix.
Surrogacy: Another Option
Surrogacy is another path many people consider when they can’t conceive naturally. In surrogacy, a man’s semen is implanted in another woman, who carries the child for nine months before handing the baby over to the couple. This method has gained popularity, especially among celebrities. Priyanka Chopra and Shilpa Shetty are notable examples who have used surrogacy to grow their families.
Movies like “Mimi” highlight this concept and its implications. Surrogacy allows couples to have a biological child even if they can’t carry the pregnancy themselves. The desire to have a child that shares their genes often leads couples to choose surrogacy over adoption. However, this doesn’t come without its own set of emotional and ethical considerations.
Adoption: A Different Kind of Parenting
When it comes to adoption, there’s a unique challenge: making sure the child never feels like they owe you anything. Many biological kids already feel the pressure to give back to their parents, but for adopted kids, this pressure can be even more intense. They might feel like they have to prove they’re worth the love and care they receive, which can be a heavy burden.
The Adoption Paradox
I recently read an essay called “The Adoption Paradox,” written by an adopted child. It was eye-opening. The author talked about the constant pressure to overachieve and prove their worth. It’s a reminder that while adoption can be a beautiful act of love, it’s essential to approach it with the right mindset – one where the child feels genuinely wanted and not like they need to earn their place in the family.
Sushmita Sen: A Beacon of Hope
Remember when Sushmita Sen adopted her daughters? That was a game-changer. She not only gave two children a loving home but also inspired a significant increase in adoption rates in India. Her story shows that adoption isn’t just about giving a child a home; it’s about embracing them with all the love and opportunities they deserve, regardless of blood ties. She has often talked about how adopting her daughters made her feel privileged and enriched her life in countless ways.
The Irony of Modern Parenting
Here’s a thought: many people say children give their lives purpose. But is this purpose something innate, or are we just keeping ourselves busy with the responsibility of raising another human being? It’s a question worth pondering. Some people might feel that having children fills a void or gives them a reason to keep pushing forward. But shouldn’t we be able to find purpose within ourselves without relying on the existence of another person?
The Burden of Expectations
In India, there’s a cultural expectation for children to “pay back” their parents for raising them. This expectation can be even heavier for adopted children. Imagine the pressure of feeling like you need to constantly prove your worth to the people who gave you a home. It’s crucial to ensure that adopted children understand they are loved unconditionally and don’t owe anything in return.
The Overpopulated Reality
India is now the most populated country in the world, surpassing China. With such a massive population, do we really need to bring more children into the world? The strain on resources, the environment, and societal structures is immense. Instead of adding to this complexity, wouldn’t it be more compassionate and sustainable to adopt the children who are already here and in need of homes?
The Psychological Impact
The psychological impact on adopted children is another critical aspect to consider. They might face questions about their identity and worth that biological children don’t. It’s essential to provide them with a supportive environment where they can grow confident and secure. Ensuring they don’t feel the need to overachieve to “earn” their place in the family is vital for their mental and emotional well-being.
The Fear of Unadoption
One of the biggest fears among adopted children is the possibility of being unadopted. Unlike biological or surrogate children, adopted children may live with the anxiety that their adoptive parents could change their minds. This fear of being disowned can significantly impact their sense of security and belonging. This fear can be compared to the feelings pet owners might have when they can’t care for their pets anymore. The pets are often rehomed, leading to emotional trauma and difficulty adjusting to new environments. Similarly, adopted children might feel the same insecurity and fear of abandonment, which can be more pronounced given their history.
The Medical Aspect
Let’s talk about something we often overlook: the health implications of pregnancy. Medically speaking, pregnancy can be quite taxing on a woman’s body. It’s well-documented that the life expectancy of a woman can decrease with each pregnancy she carries. There are so many miscarriages happening in the world, and many women face severe complications during pregnancy. Movies like “Good Newwz” highlight these issues, where the character played by Kiara Advani goes through significant complications but still wants to have a biological child because of the belief that “blood is thicker than water.” This mindset overlooks the substantial health risks and the fact that women often age faster due to the physical toll of pregnancy. Their skin becomes more saggy, and overall, they face more health challenges compared to men.
Is It Worth the Sacrifice?
Is it worth putting your life at risk to bring a new life into this world, especially when the world itself is fraught with danger and uncertainty? These are questions that need strong, honest answers. Before deciding to bring a child into this world, one must consider if they have found satisfaction in their own life and freedom. You should not expect anything in return from your children. The decision to adopt should stem from a desire to give, not to receive. If you are looking for a purpose or fulfillment in life, ensure that you are not relying on a child to provide that for you.
The Existential Questions
In today’s world, many people grapple with existential questions: Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why was I born into this particular family or society? These are profound questions that often remain unanswered. Bringing a child into this world without having a clear understanding of your own purpose can add to the complexity of their lives and yours. It’s crucial to have these answers and be ready to support a child without imposing your own unresolved questions and expectations on them.
Parenting: A Lifelong Responsibility
Parenting is a full-time job and a lifelong responsibility. Only take it on if you are sure it’s worth it and if you have answers to your own life’s purpose and expectations. Your relationship with your partner, your attachment styles, and your readiness to let your child explore and be free are critical factors. The world doesn’t need more mistakes; it needs thoughtful, intentional parenting.
Wrapping It Up
So, do you really need a child? Do you truly need this purpose in your life? Take up the responsibility of parenting only if you can commit to it fully. If you feel satisfied with your own life and freedom, and if you don’t expect anything in return from your children, then adoption could be a wonderful choice. But if you’re unsure, it’s perfectly okay to remain child-free. It’s not about generosity or having a good heart; it’s about finding meaning and ensuring you’re bringing a child into a world where they can thrive without undue burdens.
Remember, the decision to adopt, pursue surrogacy, or have children should be based on your ability to give unconditionally, to let them live freely, and to support their journey without expecting anything in return. The world is already a complex place, and every new life should be welcomed with love, support, and a clear understanding of the responsibilities involved.
Surrogacy vs. Adoption: A Comparison
Before wrapping up, let’s compare surrogacy and adoption:
Surrogacy:
• Provides a biological connection to the child.
• Popular among celebrities and those who desire genetic continuity.
• Involves medical procedures and legal complexities.
• Ensures the child is brought into a stable environment from birth.
Adoption:
• Offers a loving home to a child already in the world.
• Can be a more sustainable and compassionate choice given overpopulation concerns.
• Involves emotional and psychological considerations, particularly around belonging and security.
• Risk of unadoption, which can cause significant emotional trauma for the child.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, whether you choose to adopt, opt for surrogacy, or decide to remain child-free, the key is to make a well-considered decision that aligns with your values and life circumstances. Parenting, in any form, is a profound responsibility that requires commitment, empathy, and unconditional love.
So, what do you think? Is adoption the way forward in this crazy, complex world? Or does surrogacy offer a more appealing path for those who want a biological connection? Let’s chat in the comments!
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